Behind the Smiles

The kids here are so adorable, and it doesn't hurt that they love Mzungus. They're full of big eyes and smiles and energy. They love having their pictures made, and love looking at the digital pic even more. They seem to radiate happiness. It's easy to forget that these kids have serious needs. The past few weeks I've had the opportunity to play with them and be silly, and it's been all fun and games. So when I sat down the other night and read all of the family needs assessments, I could barely hold back the tears.

Was my little favorite really abandoned by one family, physically abused by the second and now in her best situation she's barely eating?? So many of these kids have suffered such extreme hardships. Some are HIV+, but most haven't been tested. Most of them lost their parents to AIDS; several parents took their own lives after learning they were positive. Many children were abandoned. One girl is 11 and in 1st grade because she was caring for her sick mother in a rural village and never went to school until her aunt found her and took her in. She doesn't have any friends her age. None of them eat meat or protein. Bananas are the only representation from the fruits and veggies food group. Many have never seen a doctor. In response to the question about what the children enjoy doing, most answers were "housework", "washing clothes" or "homework."

I'm really sad for these kids, but at the same time, I'm hopeful. These 27 kids will now have a chance at a better life. They'll have the opportunity to go to school, they'll get food and healthcare, and they'll have access to a supportive community of staffworkers, volunteers and other kids and families enrolled in the program. I have complete faith in Luka and Justas, and I know that they will love these kids and provide the best for them.

Saying goodbye was much easier this time. Last year, I was so overwhelmed by the needs and my inability to meet them. This year there is hope, and I said goodbye knowing that I will see them again next year.

And my precious Upendo kids....I said goodbye to all of them today, but this time there were no tears. One of our new board members volunteers there regularly and is in process of adopting one of the kids. He gave me background info on the kids and promised to keep me posted of their progress.

I leave tomorrow (Thursday) at 5:30am, and I arrive back in NYC Friday night. It's hard to believe that I've been here for 3 weeks. It's been a whirlwind of activity, but so much was accomplished. We have started the registration process to operate in TZ, we've recruited board members, we've completed the extensive assessments and verified the needs, we've found the compound we're planning to rent, etc. I keep waiting for some major roadblock, and (aside from our initial problem with immigration) everything has been ridiculously easy. People have been so supportive of the program and doors have opened left and right. It's straight up miraculous.

I have lots of stories, but I'll share those when I get back. And I have videos! Tripfilms.com is generously supporting us and editing the footage to make a video of the program. So check out their website. I'll also email a link when it is up.

We're organizing a trip to Tanzania in July 2009 so people can see our program in action, be immersed in the culture of this community and experience amazing things here....safari, gorilla trekking, climbing Kilimanjaro, Zanzibar, etc. So keep up with oitanzania.org and consider falling in love with these kids!

Babu Mzungu (Grandpa Whitey)

My friend, Neal, is in Moshi for a few days visiting our program. It's been fun to show him around, and even more fun to watch people react to him. You rarely see Asian people here in Moshi, so the locals aren't sure where he's from, but he's still a Mzungu, just more interesting than the average Mzungu. Or more scary to some of the kids. We're not sure if it's because he's a guy or because he's Asian, but some of the kids are fascinated yet afraid to approach him. But the best part was when my Upendo kids were calling him Babu (grandpa.) They would follow him yelling, "Babu, Babu," but when he would turn around they would hide behind me terrified. This gives me miles of entertainment because Neal loves to point out that I am older than him. However, none of the kids call me grandma. :)

A lot of good things have happened in the past few days. The best is this amazing man, Julius. Julius came highly recommended by multiple NGO directors, and I am absolutely thrilled that he has agreed to join our team. Julius reviewed our budget in great detail, and he will be implementing and supervising our accounting systems. He also came up with a way to cut some costs on furniture. It's still more expensive than we originally expected, but since he has been working with similar organizations for the past 30 years, he knows where to get the best deals. I was told that he's tough and makes you justify every shilling spent, but this man has a heart of gold. After spending the day with him, I'm blown away by his generosity. He already gives 45% of his income to sponsoring orphaned children and elderly people. On top of that, he offered to donate land that he owns in the Bukoba region of TZ if we decide to duplicate the model there, since that is one of the areas that the TZ govt asked us to consider.

Valerie, the director of Amani Children's Home, introduced me to Julius and gave me a lot of great advice. She also connected me with a wonderful man from Peace House who shared valuable info on the education system here. People have been so supportive and helpful throughout this process.

And the program is already starting to help people, even before we're officially open. Little Grayson had his surgery the other day. I can't remember if I told you about him or not. Just in case I haven't, Grayson is 2 and has some breathing problems. He can only sleep when he's wrapped in a kanga on his grandmother's back. Anyway, KAFAO raised money for his surgery, which was on Wednesday. I went to visit him today. KCMC is the best hospital in the area so I was kind of surprised that it wasn't more modern. He was in a ward with 6 other beds. No IV for fluids or anything. And food isn't provided. Since Grandma Grayson doesn't have a lot of money for food and obviously can't cook at the hospital, our crew has been taking food for them for the past few days. He seems to be doing well. Hopefully the surgery will help him to breathe and sleep easier now.

We also had a party for all the kids and caretakers so that I could film them for you. They sang songs and colored pictures. It was really cute.

Those are the highlights. Bye for now!

Healthcare for all!

Good news! Yesterday I met with the Elizabeth Glaser Pediatric AIDS Foundation (a highly respected organization in case you aren't familiar with AIDS orgs) and they want to partner with us! They partnered with Duke Univ to establish a family clare clinic at Kilimanjaro Christian Medical Centre (the best hospital in the area), but they recognize that most people can't actually get to the hospital so they've also been enhancing community health clinics, the most recent one being in Majengo Village where our program will be located. They trained the Dr. at the clinic and they are bringing in resources so that people living with HIV and others can get full healthcare. On top of that, they expect that a new fee system will be in place by the end of the year. With this system, we can pay 10,000 shillings (less than $10) per family for full basic healthcare for up to 6 people for a year! A donor will match that 10,000 to help cover the cost. This system will enable us to budget fairly accurately, and it will also make healthcare easily accessible to our participants (including HIV testing, counseling and treatment.) No more walking an hour or two while sick to see a doctor! On top of that, EGPAF is also interested in the possibility of partnering with us to duplicate the model in more remote parts of Tanzania. I also met with the Dr. at the Majengo Health Clinic, and he will do all he can to help our program.

We also learned that our program structure is exactly in line with TZ's new official policy for orphans and vulnerable children. Good to know! That will help!

We currently have 27 orphans + families enrolled, but there is already a long waiting list, and we're approached regularly. Mama Grace, the woman whom I'm staying with, has more than 30 years of experience in community development in Africa and is an amazing woman and a great resource to us. She asked me yesterday if we had room for more children because she knows of 2 families where the 2nd parent recently died (she went to one of the funerals this weekend) and the children are now living alone with no supervision or support. It was so hard to say that we don't have room. We aren't housing children. We're supporting families who have taken them in. And we haven't even opened yet, and we don't know how much money we can raise. Yet there are all of these kids living alone or on the streets. And this is the region where 95% of NGOs are based, and it's still not enough. It's just not fair.

But back to the positive....Lillian went to her first day of school yesterday! She had a little trouble walking in the shoes - it's her first pair - but she was so excited! Previously she spent every day sitting on a step with a 4 year old boy. Yesterday she got to go to school and have social interaction, and it was a big deal. She proudly presented her notebook with all of her checkmarks for the day. She is far behind (she's 7, starting in class 1), but the teacher will tutor her every afternoon for about $5 per month so she should catch up and move to class 2 when the new school year starts in January.

I can't wait to show y'all the pictures and videos. I'm working with dial up here, so uploading the photos is way too frustrating, if not impossible!

The Pox

While at Upendo on Saturday, I discovered that Maristella, my favorite whom I've been lugging around all week, has come down with the chicken pox. I've never had chicken pox. I think I probably have some kind of natural immunity since I've been exposed many times. I hope so, anyway! I'd rather get malaria than chicken pox. And poor little Maristella also has a head fungus of some kind. Even with the fungus and the pox, I still want to bring her home with me! I made a deal with my roommates that they could get a cat if I brought home a child. I wonder if fungus and pox changes the deal....

It was a busy weekend. We went hiking in Rau Forest and saw tons of monkeys, went fishing, crossed the Rau River (sounds impressive, but it's more like a creek.) Then one of the local artists gave me a lesson in Tinga Tinga style painting. It was fun.

And I attended my first pentacostal church service yesterday with Anna, the woman who cooks and cleans at the guest house where I am staying. I figured what better place than Africa. Last week I went to church with Luka and Justas. It was cool to go half way around the world to a completely different culture and share some of the same traditions and rituals. They sang a lot of old hymns that I know in English so I was able to sing along with the help of the swahili hymnal. The pentacostal service, however, was not so similar. I mean, it was church so some things are the same, but this one was definitely more energetic. You could say that I got a spiritual work out. I figured we had been singing and dancing for over an hour, but I was surprised to learn we had been in church for 3.5 hours. I couldn't understand many words, but the music and the drums were fun. We just danced around for most of the time. During the sermon, the girls sitting behind me kept playing with my hair. Anna speaks about as much English as I do Swahili. When it was time to pray, everyone shouted their individual prayers out loud kind of like a pep rally for Jesus. That's not really my Presbyterian style, but Anna thought I didn't understand what I was supposed to do so she kept telling me "Say something to the Lord! Say something to the Lord!" I finally mustered enough concentration to pray (quietly) out loud, and that seemed to satisfy. It was an interesting experience, and I'm glad I went, but next week I'll probably go somewhere a little more low key.

Freakin' Furniture

Guess how much a simple chair costs in TZ? Twice as much as what it costs for a child to attend school and eat lunch for a year!

I've been surprised at the costs of various things as we have been examining every detail of our budget for OIT. We definitely did not budget enough for furniture and supplies. We guesstimated that it would cost about $1500 to outfit our center, given that many things are so much cheaper here. But when we made the detailed list of everything we will need from desks to spoons and went shopping to price things out, it's actually closer to $8,000. Eek! Furniture is handmade and expensive. Electronics and paper are imported and more expensive than in the US.

But while a chair costs 45,000 TZ Shillings (about $40), it only costs 25,000 TZS to pay a child's primary school fees including daily lunch. Of course, when the household income is less than $1 per day, that is an impossible fee, especially when a school uniform is required. That adds another $20 to the bill.

So today I went with Justas to pay school fees and buy shoes. OIT is not officially operating yet so we're not starting to pay for these things yet, but there were a few kids with extenuating circumstances.

Christina and Doudi are in grade 7. In order to continue their education in January, they have to pass the secondary school entrance exam in October, but they aren't allowed to take the exam unless their school fees have been paid. So although OIT is not yet officially operating, our kids won't be able to attend school when we open if we don't cover this now.

Lillian is 7 years old, but she is currently not in school because the fees haven't been paid and she doesn't have a uniform or a pair of shoes. So Luka and Justas purchased the uniform, and I covered the school fees and shoes. We will also look into hiring a tutor. At a cost of about 10 cents per hour, it would be well worth it to help her catch up.

Of course, private schools are more expensive ranging from $200 - $350 a year, including uniform, breakfast, lunch and supplies. But the private schools have more resources and smaller classes. The government schools that our kids attend have about 90 kids per class. But until we know how much money we can raise, we don't know if private school is an option in our first year of operation. However, we expect that the kids will do significantly better in school when they have food to eat, clothes to wear and the extra support that the center will provide.

Precious Watoto (Children)

Being a mzungu (white person) in the rural villages surrounding Moshi is almost like being the Pied Piper. The kids run out and follow me wherever I go. They'll race down the street to get a better look, they'll jump up and down and yell the few words of English they know (usually "I love you" or "good morning" whatever time of day it happens to be), some of them will run over and pet my hair before running away giggling, and the really brave ones will hug me or hold my hands and continue to walk with me. They're fascinated. And it's fun. I fall in love with more kids every day. But I haven't forgotten my original Upendo orphans.

I went to visit them yesterday (and today.) It was great to see them again (they remembered me!), but then so sad at the same time. All these kids are so desperate for attention. Even though their orphanage provides them with so much more than most kids have around here, they are not as happy and smiley as the other local kids. Upendo is very institutional and very sad. It's almost like a prison. I wish I could bring them all home with me. But at least we can do something to help prevent other kids from going to institutions.

Things are going well with OIT. Now that the extensive family needs assessments are complete, we are meeting with all of the orphans' teachers. They've been able to provide info that definitely gives a fuller picture. Public school is not free in TZ. However, sometimes the teachers will allow the children to attend anyway. But each morning they announce which children have not yet paid. Not only that, but some of the kids uniforms are completely ragged. Then since many of the kids eat only 1 meal a day of corn flour and water, they aren't able to concentrate on school often resulting in poor grades. All of these factors make for a humiliating school experience. How many hardships can a child endure?

At least there are people like Luka and Justas of KAFAO that give everything they have to help. Yesterday I met with the board of KAFAO. They are all excited about the partnership with OIT, and they are very dedicated to the children. The Village Chairman and the Village Executive Vice Chairman are both on the board; this will be very helpful in regards to government and community relations. Luka and Justas are both very well respected in the community, and therefore we have been accepted and welcomed as well.

Convicted Volunteer?

I've been waiting for some kind of problem since this project has been magically easy so far. I guess it finally hit.

Yesterday as we were sitting in on an HIV educational session at the KAFAO office in Majengo Village - about an hour walk from where we're staying - 3 men from Immigration drove up and demanded our passports. They required Molly to go back with them to retrieve all of our passports from the hostel. While they weren't COMPLETELY shady, they were quite inappropriate. Going back and forth between telling her she was beautiful and inquiring about her boyfriend status to demanding that we would be arrested because by attending any kind of meeting we were violating a law that prohibits anyone to volunteer without a workers permit. They finally told her that all 3 of us would have to report to Immigration at 9am Monday. When the guys from KAFAO met with them later they said that each of us would have to pay $400 cash or go to jail. Jailed for volunteering?? And not even officially volunteering! After the men met again today, it appears as if everything has been resolved. I emailed our friends at the Tanzanian mission to alert them of the situation so we don't expect any more problems, but it certainly added some drama to the weekend!

Aside from that, things are going well. I'm very impressed with Luka and Justas of KAFAO, and with our interns, Molly and Gina. I still can't believe that we managed to find one girl who speaks Swahili and immediately befriends everyone she meets (even Immigration officers!) and another who is getting her masters in nonfprofit management and has set up systems here so that data can be tracked and evaluated to prove the effectiveness of the program.

It was a little surreal to finally meet the families who are enrolled. The gratitude in their eyes was overwhelming. The kids are precious. And the stories are heartbreaking. The poverty is far worse than I expected. Many of the families are living on 1 meal of a flour/water paste per day. While English and computer classes will be gladly accepted, what they really want and need is food. And healthcare. Most of them don't have mosquito nets, and many of them regularly get malaria. Some have HIV. I've only just arrived and there is much to learn, but it is clear that we will easily be able to make a huge impact in the lives of these people.

I will keep you posted!

Almost There

So much has happened since I first came to Tanzania with CCS last July. My experience here last summer broke my heart and changed my life, and now I'm returning excited and hopeful that our new program will change the lives of many orphaned children and families.

Thanks to a team of 7 dedicated women, 5 summer interns, a lead gift from Barb and Jim Ryba and generous donations and prayers from hundreds of others, Orphans International and a local Tanzanian group called KAFAO (Kilimanjaro Aid for AIDS Orphans) are working together to open a family care center that will provide resources to families who have taken in orphaned children.

I am now on my way to Moshi to work with Luka and Justas of KAFAO and Molly and Gina
(our interns in Tanzania) as we bring this project one step closer to opening in January 2009. We now have 27 families enrolled and the families' needs assessments have all been completed. I will try to blog regularly to try to paint a picture of what we're doing here. You should also check out the OIT interns' blog. The link is posted on the right hand side of this page.

Thanks for all of your support and encouragement! I have to run catch my last flight...and a spider just crawled across my keyboard. This is Africa! I'm glad to be back.

Celebrity Status

It's fun to be the local celebrity until you realize that everyone wants something from you. We're already accustomed to random people asking us for money or help of some kind. They've learned that mzungus come in and throw around money, and so it's normal to have constant requests for help. It's uncomfortable and heartbreaking and sometimes annoying, but, really, how you can be upset when you look at the reality of the situation. Living in NYC has hardened me a bit so I think that wasn't as difficult for me as it was for some other volunteers. But what has been hard are all the requests coming from people that we've developed relationships with over the past few weeks. Suddenly at the end of the trip, many of these people have made pleas for education costs, bicycles or money. At one of the other orphanages that I've worked at during the evenings, the kids all did a performance for us and sang several songs about how their parents have died, children are starving, and please pray to God for protection because that's their only hope. Then the kids came around asking us to buy various things, make donations, etc. That's one thing that's great about the kids at my orphanage. They're not old enough to understand that mzungus have more, and they love us just because we're loving towards them.



Yesterday was my last day at the orphanage. Goodbyes were really hard. Lots of tears from us and the caretakers. The kids, of course, were clueless. Just thrilled to see us and wave goodbye. We talked to one of the head nuns and she told us more info on the individual situations of some of the children. There is not much hope for any of their futures. After the children turn 6, they are sent to another orphanage/boarding school in Dar es Salaam. The nun said it's an awful place where they beat the children. I consider some of the corporal punishment at my orphanage beating so I can't imagine how bad the next stop is. But she said there's not much hope. It's almost impossible for non-Tanzanians to adopt these kids, and the people of Tanzania don't have the resources to adopt. So the day was pretty depressing. I do feel like we made progress, and I hope that there are long term changes.

I'm off to Zanzibar today until Wednesday. I plan to relax and process the past few weeks. And read Harry Potter, which I was able to pick up on opening day at the Dubai airport. I probably won't have internet access and won't be blogging anymore. Thanks for all of your comments and encouragement over the past several weeks. I can't wait to see you all and show you photos!

Hello, National Geographic!

You will have to see the pictures to believe the weekend I had. It was straight out of National Geographic. I don't even know how to process it. It seemed like surely this was a show in a disney theme park. Acutally, it wasn't touristy at all. Not many people venture out to visit the Hadzabe and Toga tribes. Once we got out to the basic area, we turned and drove for 3 hours in the bush. I couldn't believe the driver knew where he was going! I would have to write a novel to explain this weekend in full so I'll just hit the highlights.

We were slightly disappointed to find that the "clicking" language is not entirely comprised of clicks. Clicks are only a small part of it. They speak mostly with words. At least I have learned how to click good morning and will teach you when I return. First we had to bring a peace offering of marijuana in order to approach them. A good thing I didn't know about this in advance since the penalty in Tanzania for pot possession is 30 years in prison. And their prisons aren't like ours. We then went hunting with bows and arrows for babboons, dic dic, small monkeys and birds. We (well, they) ended up getting a guinea fowl and another bird. They promptly started a fire with sticks and cow dung, pulled off the tail feathers, threw them in the fire and then ate them. The feathers were mostly burned off, but the meat was raw. They kindly offered us some of the food, but not any of the pot that they smoked before hunting or after eating. Some things are sacred I guess. They don't live in any kind of hut or anything. They just move to wherever the next meal is killed. When that food is gone, the men go hunting again, and then they pick up and move. Their "home" consisted of branches in a kind of barrier circle, and some "mattresses" (animal skins.)

The next day we visited the neighboring Toga tribe. Our guide for the Hadzabe trip is a member of the Toga tribe so he took us to some of his friends homes. They live in huts made of sticks held together with a mixture of cow dung, termite mound mud and regular mud. They have grass roofs. We visited one family that was very "wealthy." This man (who was absent because he took the cows to the serenghetti to graze) has 10 wives. Each wife is equal to 20 cows, and they still had a lot of cows left over. So he was big time. We visited with them for quite a while in their hut (there were also 2 cows hanging out in the hut) and got to experience some of their daily routines because I asked. We ground maize into flour with stones, milked a cow and went to get water. And that was unbelievable! Most of the people here in my village don't have running water, but there are community spigots where they can fill their buckets. The Toga have to walk about a mile to the river, which is currently all dried up because of the dry season. So when we got to the river we had to walk down a ways and then DIG to get to the water. It is a steep, rocky walk that is uphill on the way back while carrying water. The girl who took us was smaller than me, but she strapped a barrel to her back that was bigger than a five gallon bucket and then booked it up the steep path. Thank goodness our guide told them we needed smaller containers when they brought out the barrels. I was exhausted carrying my little gourd!

Things are going well back at the compound. Two of our volunteers are working with 6th graders at the 2 local primary schools and started soccer teams. They organized a game between the two schools and it was a huge deal. So fun to see! They've never been to any kind of organized game like this so the "fans" really didn't know how to respond. They stared at us when we cheered at first, but then we were able to get some of them going. At halftime, when the teams huddled with the coaches every kid watching the game rushed over to the respective huddle and surrounded it as if they needed to hear what the coach was saying, too. But the best part of the game was that this 13 year old boy saw my swahili/english dictionary and asked if he could look at it. He spent the whole game reading my phrase book, sounding out words. He walked with me after the game and I told him I was with the CCS group. When I got back to our compound later that evening, he was sitting outside waiting for me to return. I told him that I would give him my dictionary on Saturday when I leave Rau. It's amazing how much these kids want to learn. We take so much for granted.

The orphanage is going pretty well. I am so sad that I only have a few more days there. I feel like I've just figured things out and now it's time to leave. It's so unfair to the kids to constantly get attached and then have volunteers leave. Which is the lesser of the two evils? I think that we have impacted the caregivers at least a little bit so hopefully some small changes will be carried on. There are 4 kids that I desperately want to bring home. I think of my niece who was born the day I left for Africa, and how many people love her already between family, friends and church community. And these kids don't have 1 single person who will consistently love them. It's not fair. But then, my kids have so so so much more than the other orphans here. It's such a desperate situation here it's hard to know how to even make a dent.

The Big City

Arusha was kind of a bust. We got there for the trial hearing, and they wouldn't let us in because the hearing was too sensitive so they closed it to the public. Of course, we had confirmed right before we left - we were actually in the car. But that's nto surprising. We call it TFT - Tanzanian Flex Time. There's not much order to anything and no set schedule. Well, there's a schedule. They just don't adhere to it. And they even tell time differently than we do. They use the same numbers on the clock, but they start counting at 6 instead of 12 because that's when the sun rises. So even though the clock says 2, it's actually 8. Kind of confusing. So you always have to clarify if it's TFT or Mzungu time.

Arusha was totally different than my village, Rau. It's one of the biggest cities in Tanzania, and it's like a real city. Compared to the big cities in the US, it looks run down. But it looks like a pillar of wealth compared to Rau. Arusha is the big hub for tourists going on safari so there's a lot of tourism money, and education is a big deal here. Actually, the whole Arusha/Kilimanjaro area is supposedly the wealthiest in the country. Hard to believe when most people in Rau don't have running water. People weren't quite as friendly in Arusha. No kids running alongside our van or people calling out that they love us. ("I love you" may be the only sentence some of them know in English...not sure.) However, I did have a marriage proposal in the market. The man did not care that I have a boyfriend, and assured me that I shouldn't worry about the fact that my whole family is in America. He said he'd wait 3 years for me to come back and then he'd prepare a nice house for me and my mom and my dad and my brother and sisters. Ha! Of course, we were warned from the beginning that guys would actually pursue us and try to marry us...for our money. Being a nonprofit girl I never thought anyone would be after me for my money! Apparently, though, it has happend. Several CCS volunteers married locals who shortly after left with half their fortune. Which is quite a bit in Tanzania. Oh, and don't worry, I didn't accept the proposal. My dad won't be receiving a shipment of cows or anything. Oh, but at a different market I did trade 2 pairs of socks and a free case I got on the airplane for a carved wooden giraffe bowl. I was pretty happy with that one! And so was he. He was amazed at how white the socks were...they were new. Can't wait til I take all my random stuff to market next Friday!

The orphanage today was tiring again. A little boy named Omari had a total meltdown. He's definitely the troublemaker of the group and will do anything for attention. Mostly negative behaviors. Hitting, biting, throwing a tantrum. And all the regular ways you might handle a child misbehaving for attention almost don't apply here. So it's hard to know how to handle it. I don't want to encourage the negative behaviors by responding with that attention that he wants because he's really a handful and will be beaten by others if he continues. But at the same time, he is always sick and just completely desperate for love. So when he was laying on the bathroom floor sobbing uncontrollably I couldn't help but cry right along with him.

Tomorrow night I'm leaving for another camping adventure. Yes, again. I can't believe I'm camping again. I'll be joining the Hadzabi tribe for the weekend. Three of us are going. The Hadzabe speak in a clicking language and are the last hunting/gathering tribe in Africa, and they're going extinct due to loss of land. Much like American Indians. Anyway, I'll be dancing around a fire again tomorrow night. Then hunting with bows, arrows and spears. (I'll be aiming for trees.) Just living along side them for a few days. Anyone care for sparrow or squirrel for dinner? I'll try to get the recipes for you...

Strange Mix of Cultures

So I'm walking down a bumpy dirt road with a man herding cattle in front of me and lots of women carrying buckets of water, bundles of banana leaves, or a bunches of sticks on their heads...and then a cell phone rings...to the tune of a Ludacris song. What??? It's funny how they've picked up on some American things such as music, but things like deodorant, toilet paper and underwear are totally unimportant. I'm starting to adjust, though. And some things are better here. This is a traditional culture where the family is the most important thing, not the individual. As a result, people are so respectful to their families, especially their elders. People actually WANT to get old to have that status! Children (not including my toddlers!) are really well-behaved and work hard. And they value education so much. They're so hungry to learn. We have lots of volunteers in schools. And a lot of children walk 5 miles EACH WAY just to come to school. Because they want to. It's not required. Now, there's no snow involved, and it's pretty flat terrain, but it's still unbelievable.


The orphanage was exhausting today. Maybe because I'm sick. But some ofthe kids were not cooperating with me. And don't worry roommates...I'm not bringing home any kids. We found out that the adoption process here is extremely difficult if you don't live in Tanzania. These strict laws were put in place after slavery was abolished. Tanzania was one of the main hubs of the slave trading business so these laws are to prevent children being sold off for bad purposed. Apparently, Kenya has a real problem with that. So there are millions of orphans. AIDS has pretty much wiped out a whole generation so there are orphanages everywhere. You go down the road and just see signs for various orphanages. It's so sad. And I know I'm not supposed to have favorites, but rules are meant to be broken. I'm totally in love with this little girl Maristella. She is precious, and I want to bring her home with me! So sad that I can't.

Tomorrow after work we're going to Arusha to the Rwanda Genocide tribunal hearings. Should be interesting.

Sustainable solutions

Thank you for your kind offers to help in some way. I'm not sure how to help at this point. CCS has a strict policy on making donations during our placement, and for good reason. We need to think of sustainable solutions that are culturally appropriate and don't foster dependency. Not easy. Especially when you know that so little money would go so far here. $300 would send a disabled child to the proper boarding school for a year. Really I'm just trying to figure out how I could fit 23 toddlers into my NYC apartment. Roommates, what do you think? :) All of the volunteers here are brainstorming various ways to help in our different placements. I wish the VCNY staff were here to help! I know they would have great insight for the HIV women's development groups. I'll let you know what things we come up with for the orphanage. My orphanage is actually a very "wealthy" place in the "nice" area of town (officially called Shante Town.) I didn't realize it at first, but now that I've seen other orphanages and homes, these kids live in a palace comparatively. They get 3 meals of porridge a day, they have their own cribs to sleep in, and they have clothes. However, there is no soap in the whole place! They don't wash them with any soap, and they don't wash their clothes with soap. And considering there are no diapers....just imagine the bacteria. I'm not sure if the soap thing is a cultural issue or a financial issue, but that's one of the things we're looking into. I'll keep you posted.

More hitting at the orphanage today. In fact, lots of it. At one point a girl took a stick and hit 2 boys across their heads. We couldn't help but react to that. The relationships with the caretakers get better every day. It's really good at this point. But the hitting is such a part of their lives, they don't even think of it. Most of these girls are orphans themselves, or come from very bad homes. That's why they're taken in to this program. They work 18 hours a day between the orphanage and school. And the nuns hit them, too. So how do you even start?? It's hard. Please pray that the kids would respond to positive reinforcement and kindness - behavior wise. They're so accustomed to physical punishment that other things don't seem to work very well. And I just can't bear to see them get hit! They're only 2 and 3, but I just want them to behave so they don't get hit. But on the positive side....I didn't get peed on today! Wow!

Again on the positive side, I have a cold. Better than some volunteers. Probably half of us are sick with something. Malaria, colds, stomach stuff. I'll take the cold, thanks. Only 1 mosquito bite so far! No malaria for me!

Busy Weekend

Friday we had a pretty good day at the orphanage. They actually brought one of the kids with cerebral palsy out to the playground. It was the first time we've seen them do anything with the disabled children. There is a lot of stigma here associated with any kind of physical disability. It's definitely survival of the fittest.

Gloria, the caretaker who speaks the most English, was gone on Thursday because she went to visit her mother who is ill. She told us on Friday that her mother told her that she wanted to die. Gloria said she was really sad until she remembered that we would be at the orphanage. I'm happy that we were able to cheer her up, but it's strange that after a few days we could have that kind of effect. Friday the caretakers were copying some of our behaviors. For example, a few times when a child was crying a girl actually picked the child up! That never used to happen. And the toughest girl actually started kissing the children!! I thnk they've noticed that the kids stop crying when we do that and so will pick up on methods that get results. Hopefully being loving will continue to encourage the kids to behave.

This weekend we went on a camping safari to Ngorongoro Crater and Lake Manyara. Yes, I said camping. Camping was fine. The safari was great! Cool to see all those animals in their natural habitats. We also went to visit a Masai boma. The Masai tribe is a warrior tribe that has a very distinct culture. They are the only ones allowed to live in the parks with the animals. They practice polygamy and female genital mutilation. Fortunately, a law was passed 4 years ago forbidding FGM, but it's still taking place, though not as often. We got to look at one of the huts - made with mud, sticks and grass. It was very interesting, and I have some cool pictures. The weekend was really fun, but the whole time I kept thinking about how I could get all those kids adopted! I want to bring them all home with me! They're so precious. You'll all want them, too!

I wish you could all be here to experience this. It's really amazing. I'll try to blog tomorrow, but right now there are 37 other people waiting for the computer!

Mzungu (whitey)

Carol used to tease me that I force people to be my friends....I won't give up talking to them, inviting them to things, etc. until they give in. Maybe that helped break through today, but the real key was my dancing skills...or lack thereof. (I can't quite compete with the Africans here.) Today was a great day at the orphanage. We had a mix of caretakers from the first 2 days. Some of the girls from the first day can speak a little English so we were able to communicate more with the others. And we certainly killed them with kindness. But what really got them was when I started dancing to their songs. I mean, there are legit dance moves to these songs that they do with the kids, but my version just made them laugh. So when I convinced the girl who was the toughest yesterday to teach me the songs and the moves, it was a hit. And I was happy to play the fool. It was well worth it. By the end of the day the girl was hugging me. Both of the girls who were the most difficult yesterday were laughing with us (not just at us!) by the end of the day. And there was no physical abuse. They're definitely watching every move we make so maybe we'll have the opportunity to discuss various teaching "methods" sometime soon. Today was even more successful than the first day.

Back at the volunteer compound, we talked to the local staff about the problem, and then we had a huge group discussion about the history of corporal punishment in Tanzania, the current laws and the changes being made. Basically it's now illegal in schools, but it's still practiced. However, they said there has been a dramatic difference since CCS started sending volunteers 4 years ago so that is encouraging.

Some funny things about the kids... they love to rub my arms and stare at them. Then they'll pick up each individual finger and examine my fingernails (unmanicured, mind you). They'll look under the fingernails, touch them, etc. I guess maybe they're interested because they're clean. But what they really can't get over is my red toenail polish. They're in awe. So yes, pedicures before African trips are important! :)

We went back to the other orphanage to play before dinner, and it was pretty much the same as yesterday. Caroline walked me home again. I told her I'd come back on Monday.

Then we did some tribal dancing tonight. Again showcasing my mzungu dancing skills.

We're leaving tomorrow after work for safari. Going to ngorongoro crater, lake manyara and a masaii village. I'm excited, but will miss the kids.

I'll try to practice some moves to showcase when I return...

A Hard Day

I was fighting tears as I left the orphanage today. It was not a good day. All of the successes of yesterday seemed to vanish. When we arrived there was a different group of caretakers, and these were very hard to connect with. Some were definitely not happy to see us. I think we made some progress with a few, but a few of them are completely full of anger. Within the first 10 minutes one of the girls broke a branch off a tree and started hitting a child because he was crying. He hadn't even done anything wrong. And these kids are 2 years old! Another girl hit a child in the face, and there was quite a bit of pinching and slapping. No wonder the kids are hitting each other with sticks. Then Mar (one of the volunteers with me) heard the head nun say something to a caretaker about not doing certain things in front of us. So you know that the kids are being treated worse when we're not around. It's very discouraging. There really can't be lasting change unless we can break through to these caretakers. And today that seemed impossible.

Later that day we visited some local people in their homes. You can't even imagine the poverty here. Think of all the images you've seen of poverty in Africa. It's worse. And it's everywhere.

This evening we went to a fundraising talent show put on by the juvenile detention center - another placement location where some of the volunteers work. The kids in the center are in this place for petty theft, attempted murder, or even false claims that their parents make because the parents can't care for them. Their beds are infested with lice, scabes, and something else...can't remember now. So this even raised money for new mattresses. It was fun. The kids looked really proud at the end. probably the first time they've ever been proud of anything.

After we went to a different orphanage and played with the kids, who are older than the ones at my orphanage. These kids were happier. Fun. Taught us songs, danced, played. One little girl, Caroline, held my hand and walked me back to the compound. Told me she loved me on the way and would I please come back tomorrow. How many times can I have my heart broken in one day??

I'll try to post some photos soon. But even photos don't do it justice.

the orphanage

I'm still processing what I experienced today so I don't even know where to start. There are 2 other girls (Mar and Kelly - mar is an older woman who is a nurse in north dakota, and kelly's a social worker moving to brooklyn) working with me at Upendo. When we arrived at the orphanage the children rushed at us, hugging us, clinging to us, jumping on our backs and burying their faces in our legs. They are so starved for attention that it's heartbreaking. We had read a logbook of previous volunteer experiences and were prepared to witness quite a bit of abuse from the caretakers, but we didn't see that. This is a new group of caretakers...it's a 2 year program and there's a new class every year. Our strategy was to reach out to the caretakers first and then to the children given everything we had heard. It worked! It felt like such a successful day because of that. By the end of the day the girls were asking us to exchange addresses and were singing songs to us. Now we seem to be working as a team rather than a bunch of westerners coming in and imposing their way of life on the caretakers.

As for the orphanage...it definitely requires a shift in perspective. The facilities aren't that bad considering we're in Tanzania. It certainly would be condemned by our standards, but compared to the way most Tanzanians live, it's fairly nice. The children are filthy, and their clothes are torn and dirty, and they have porridge for lunch every day. But they are provided with shelter and food. The kids range in age from infant to 7 years old, but most of them are 3 and under. At the age of 4, this orphanage tries to find foster homes or sends them to other orphanages in different cities. Again, heartbreaking. There are 3 sleeping rooms with about 20-25 cribs in each.

When we arrived we took the children to a big room to play in. They don't have many real toys. They have an empty plastic bottle, 1 torn page from a book and some stuffed animals...and they fight over them. No toys for developing motor skills. The children don't have diapers and mostly pee straight through their clothes on the floor or on us. As pee was running down my leg into my shoe, I was very thankful that I was wearing the rubber Nike sandals that Josh convinced me to buy instead of my tennis shoes. I did get 3 children to go in the toilet, and that was another big win! Of course, they don't have toilet paper. None of the locals use toilet paper...it's too expensive.

At first it was absolute chaos. The kids were hanging on us, and some kids would act out and hit others or us to get any attention they could. After about an hour we kind of figured things and got some control. We started singing songs with them. The caretakers would sing swahili songs, and the children would listen but not participate. Then we started singing English songs. They LOVED the hokey-pokey. They would dance around to that one, and the caretakers asked us to write it down for them. Tomorrow we're going armed with supplies that we brought with us and a plan for a more structured day.

I guess the most disturbing part was that there were 3 disabled children that seemed to be left alone in their cribs the whole time we were there. I wandered into the room when I was looking for something to clean up pee, and saw these children left alone. I'm sure they're short staffed and don't have specific knowledge on how to care for these kids, but I'm not sure how to even deal with that situation. I'm going to ask one of the staff members here for advice on how to talk to the Upendo staff about it.

It's so sad that these children are so alone with no one to care for them. With the caretaking staff rotating every year, and volunteers coming in and out, there really isn't any continuity at all. They're being kept alive, but I can't even imagine the extensive issues they'll have to deal with. It's only been one day so I'm sure I'll learn more and process more over the following weeks, but right now I'm overwhelmed.

After the placement we did have a Swahili lesson and then visited the Chief. The "Chief" is an older short man with 2 teeth. He showed us his 3 pigs and 5 goats and lotful of chickens. He's quite proud of them. But he and his wife and 5 children seem to live in more filth than the orphans. It's really a cultural thing...or maybe just an economic thing.

Sorry this is extremely long, but there really was a lot to take in. Hopefully it will be a little more concise next time!

Day 1

We arrived in Kilimanjaro on Sunday afternoon. The volunteer compound is fairly nice - kind of like camping with facilities. I'm sharing a room and bath with 3 girls. Think bunk beds and mosquito nets. Dogs wake us up throughout the night, and I swear a million roosters start crowing at 4am.

Africa looks like what you might expect - beautiful vegetation, rough roads, chickens running wild and women carrying large loads on their heads.

Tanzanians are very friendly. They treat the volunteers like royalty; of course, they think we're all millionaires. And compared to them we are. The average annual income is the equivalent of $250. They are very touchy-feely, and when they shake our hands they don't let go for several minutes. Everone stares at us in a kind of weird excitement wherever we go. When we walk down the road, kids run out to greet us yelling hello and jumping up & down while waving. You'd think the ice cream truck was going by with free ice cream! They love to give us high 5s and some ask to have their pictures taken. And then they LOVE seeing their photos on the digital camera. Even kiss the screen.

Today was orientation. We learned a lot about the culture and our volunteer placements. We also walked to the village trading center. The closer we got to the center, the more ragged the children were. They were absolutely filthy with torn clothes, but they were all smiles when we came by. I was so shocked at the unsanitary conditions of the trading center that I didn't even think to be grossed out. People (mostly women) had little "stations" where they spread their food out on the ground. Flies buzz around everything. Chickens wander everywhere. Women are cleaning fish, and the fish and meat are hanging in the sun, again with flies all around. But the worst was the meat station. First I just saw a bloody bull's horn that had been used for some kind of scraping of flesh. Then I realized there were severed bulls' heads lying around everywhere. All the while, the flies are buzzing and the children are playing. Needless to say, we didn't buy any food and I doused myself in sanitizer when we got home.

Tomorrow I start working at the orphanage. And then we have an appointment to visit the Chief. Ha!

Kwa Heri! (Goodbye in Swahili)

On Friday, July 20, I will leave on a 4 week adventure in Africa with a volunteer group from Cross Cultural Solutions. After 2 days of travel I will arrive at our compound in Rau Village, which is just outside of Moshi near Kilimanjaro in Tanzania. For three weeks I will work at the Upendo Children's Home, a private orphanage whose mission is to save the lives of babies and children who have no caregivers, most of whom have lost their parents to HIV/AIDS. Approximately 40% of the children have HIV. I have been advised that I will be peed on daily as the children have no diapers, that the "Mamas" (teenage caretakers) are somewhat resentful towards female volunteers, and that malaria is prevalent. I can't wait! I probably won't be able to access the internet until Monday, July 23, but I'll try to update then.